Birth (2015)

This painting just came to life.  Too big for my scanner and so the photo is a little darker than I hoped but wanted to share this piece.  I wrestled with it for a while to determine whether I wanted to play with adding some ink lines or painted lines.  I determined that I didn’t want to because the painting didn’t need it.  Arriving at that decision is always a little challenging, but once I decide I can’t imagine the painting any other way.

(watercolor/watercolor pencils on cold-pressed paper, Sept. 2015)

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Labyrinth (Abstract)

Took a while to sketch and paint this one.  I like taking my finger through the little trails and seeing where I wind up.  Life is full of twists and turns.  Some we can see coming; others we can’t.  This painting tries to capture that twisting and turning that we all face in life.

Green Sea

 

I love the turmoil of the open sea.  It is both chaotic and beautiful at the same time.  The sea can move from placid to turbulent in an instant.  Isn’t life a bit like the sea: unpredictable, discomforting (at times), beautiful, uncertain, peaceful, quiet, wild, gentle, clamorous?  I don’t group all the positive adjectives describing life together nor all the negative adjectives together because we don’t experience life that way.  A single day can include a multiplicity of opposing feelings, experiences, and encounters.  Life is like the sea.

Cracks

 

Found inspiration from this hearty, little plant growing in circumstances that are less than ideal.  Often we must grow in the same types of places.  We can’t always pick the circumstances we find ourselves in but we can choose how we will respond.

Attic Spaces

 

We all have stuff that we don’t use that gets “stored” away somewhere.  I think attics are metaphors for our hearts.  This painting is less about our belongings and more about our souls.

In the Storm

 

Sometimes life is hard.  The waves kick up.  The waters foam.  And yet we don’t give up.  We’re in the storm but the storm doesn’t have to own our hearts.

Soul’s Lament on a Perfectly Melancholy Day

I look around the room and I see the things that are in it.  I know this is where I live; I call this place home but it doesn’t feel like it.  I park in the same old parking spot in the same old parking lot at the same old apartment in the same old neighborhood but I still wonder how I got here.  I watch the cars around me when I go places.  People together talking, sharing, living.  I want that and yet it feels out of reach.

I guess I’m just missing you.  I want the life we have when we’re together.  That feels like living.  What is this?  What is this thing we do when we’re apart?  God my heart aches.  I savor the moments we have like a really good glass of wine.  I want the taste on my lips forever.  I want that warming feeling never to go away.  I want the fullness of those moments to last forever.

I’m sad today; feeling vulnerable too.  I’m not going to lie to myself or to anyone.  Sometimes I feel like there’s a billboard that hovers over my car saying, “Watch out for the sad, lonely dude, he’s probably not paying too much attention to his driving.”  It’s actually true.  I am pretty sad and my mind is almost never where it should be when I’m driving.

I miss you.  Come home soon.  I don’t know if I can handle this life.  I want to live our life, the life we have together.

Settle in & Stay

Settle in dear and stay awhile. Looking for the one who would love you, the one who would care, the one who would treat you the way you always dared not believe you deserved. Don’t let the dread convince you it isn’t real and can’t last. Waiting for the other shoe to drop, expecting love to leave. You wonder if the feelings go both ways and I can see why. But put those thoughts to rest. You and I both know its good; hard to believe how good sometimes. So settle in and stay awhile.

Worth Living

Life seems to be a discontinuous vacillating from breathtaking to mundane and it can change from one to the other without notice. For me, there are factors that help determine where I find myself on the continuum.

Rest. Rest sets the stage for my outlook. When I’m rested my full energy is focused on living and the task(s) at hand. Everything else seems more vibrant and alive, even the things that are typically easy to overlook seem more interesting.

Exercise. Exercise helps me push my body to its limit and after running or cycling or working out I feel so good. The happy endorphins exercise promotes are pumping through my body and though tired the feeling is good.

Intellect. I like things that make me think and ask questions and consider something in a new light. Reading, watching a documentary, engaging in a discussion about a topic I’m passionate about, writing, doing or appreciating art, listening to music, or watching good acting all make my mind work and I like that.

Food. I like food but I want food (both cooking and eating) to be an experience. I like to cook foods that are bursting with flavor and color and healthy nutrients. The taste of a dish that has been perfectly cooked and appropriately seasoned combined with the right glass of wine, nothing could be better.

Love. Expressing my heart and feelings in relationships is so important to who I am. Focusing care and attention on someone I love reminds me that life is bigger than my little place in it and it helps me experience life’s beauty and challenges with a realness that is very attractive to me.

While not an exhaustive list, these are the things that make life worth living from my perspective.

Plane

Put my girl on a plane today and said goodbye. Not for forever, but for a while. Going off to a new place; caught up in the rat race. She says, “I wish I could live a life free from this.” I wish she could too, but ’til then I’ll miss seeing her face when I wake to the day; holding her close as night gives way.

Bills keep on coming and so we must work, but are we working to live or living to work?

I miss you my sweet, remember my kiss. And know from my heart how much you’ll be missed.